Project of The Electric-Independent Air Quality Testing Device
Air quality testing company in Montreal: How we developed the project of the electric-independent air quality testing device for Congo customers. The real story from the developer.
After I'd come to the office, I wrote this email at first:
"Good afternoon, dear colleagues!" I began. "I offer you to simplify and reduce from the development of the CoCoSo's energy-independent realization to delivery of the ready-made solution in the form of wooden beads. The main reason for this solution is that our customers don't have a supply of electricity. No hardware and software device will work without electricity. Moreover, I express my doubts that users who have never seen a computer in their lives are qualified enough to work with our air quality testing software, CoCoSo."
I reread my text several times, added my signature and recipients: the team leader Rene, the designer Greg and the project manager George. Although, speaking honestly, I didn't believe that George was able to read anything. I sighed and, to be sure, added our regional manager, Andre Edward Whitewinged to the copy, and clicked the "Send" button.
By the way, after an unpleasant accident on my previous job, I always write the email and only then I add receivers. Back then, one of my managers asked me how soon I would finish my work and whether I had to wait for the data uploading from the collection. I wanted to write: "Yes, it seems to me, that I'll have to wait for the data uploading" but I made some spelling mistake and the email was sent as "yes it su...". So, I had to look for the new job urgently, and with worst references from the previous place. Nobody wanted to hire me except the big international air testing company. And now I was here and I had to write the air quality testing software which didn't work on electricity.
The time for lunch came suddenly.
After lunch, Rene asked me to go see him.
"You know, your solution hasn't been so bad," he said in a low voice.
"So, that means we will sell beads to Africans, won't we?" I was surprised. It was unbelievable that my email could change the decision which had already been taken!
"Quiet, quiet, listen further. Unfortunately, funds have already been spent for the development of the energy-independent CoCoSo, that are much bigger than the cost of your solution with beads. So, you see, that it is in your interest not to mention beads to anyone else, otherwise it'll be like we've spent funds in vain. You are a smart guy, don't you see that? And the energy-independent solution has almost been completed. I estimate that we are to finish it as early as today. That's why, if we cannot do it today, we will have to work hard tomorrow and don't plan anything for the weekend. Well, you are to meet the deadline, you have only small things to do."
Rene was silent for a while and, perhaps, in order to encourage me, he added:
"You know, I've written codes myself once. You have only a couple of lines to write. Can you cope with that?"
At evening, the reply from Mr. Whitewinged came. The contents consisted of the single line: "I believe that the situation when ordinary developers do the design is unacceptable. I see no sense in the further discussion of the matter". And then there was the signature eight lines long.
I came to the window. Low gray clouds were crawling on the sky, and some indefinite substance was falling down to the ground from them. Huge pipes and radio towers could be seen somewhere on the horizon. "I wonder, whether it is summer or winter now," I thought. For us office workers seasonal changes have just a formal meaning. Summer is different from winter only that in summer we wear sweaters in the office not to get frozen under the conditioner, and in winter we run from the building to our cars. We do our best, work every day, although we don't produce anything. Our activity doesn't leave any traces in the environment, although it is perhaps for the best because everything we do, we do badly. But what do we make here? The answer is simple: a career.
Many people mistakenly believe that the word career is the synonym to "job" or "profession". But it is not, what profession can an office worker have? Only the one who produces something can have the profession. Office workers are occupied only by the mental destruction of themselves. The word career comes from the Italian word "cariare" which means "to make smith rot". Only the person who have never seen how a healthy guy or a beautiful young girl after they've started working in the office, turn into weak creatures with empty eyes, double chins and soft muscles.
I was suddenly in rage. Or, better to say, in fury. I wanted, as Michael Douglas' character from "Falling Down." to get a gun and to kill. To shoot down all bureaucrats, all capitalists, all top and middle managers, all SEO experts and of course, all HR managers. I felt how blood flowed in my head and my my clenched fists. But then I remembered about my unpaid credit and my anger changed into apathy. At the end, what was the darn difference for me whether it was possible to make the work delegated to me or not? I was paid not for the result but for the time I spent here. My activity was like prostitution. By the way, I wondered whether line managers got pleasure after speaking with their subordinates.
And here I understood what I had to do. I would do my work in the best manner possible tomorrow.
I unexpectedly left the office ten minutes before the end of day, not saying a word to anybody.